Do you have a child going off to college soon? California (and most of the United States) says that when children turn 18, parents lose the right to make any decisions for them. This makes it even more important to spend extra time with them in the months leading up to their new adventure. It’s important to make sure you instill a balance of practical skills and good, old-fashioned bonding. Below are five reasons to spend time with your kids before they leave home.
1. They Need To Eat
Yes, they will have the meal plan, but the reality is, probably about a week in, you’ll get the screenshots and the texts describing how they’ve never had anything more disgusting. Most dorms have a community kitchenette, and many rooms allow microwaves. Spend some quality time teaching them how to prepare a few simple, healthy, yet tasty meals. It’s a valuable use of time. Remember that most of us remember 80% of what we see, so showing them will turn out much better than telling them over the phone (we retain only 10% of what we hear). It’s also better than a text, as we remember only 20% of what we read.
2. They Need to Learn Money Management
Before your child leaves for college, it’s important to teach them the importance of money management and budgeting. It may be helpful for your child if you sit down and outline a budget together. If your child has a work-study job lined up, discuss how to save paychecks for any surprises or emergencies. Try to encourage them to only use the money they left home with for fun and games. Take the time to discuss how to interpret bank statements and maintain a balance.
3. You Need to Give Them a Real Talk
A huge part of being able to let your child go out on their own is making sure you talk about everything. On and off over the course of the summer before college, have tough conversations with your child. Discuss the importance of compromise when living with a roommate. Remind them that sometimes you just have to give in to keep the peace. Be sure to talk about romantic relationships and being respectful and responsible.
4. They Need Supplies
Retail therapy is not only needed before your child leaves; it’s required. They need plenty of things before they head off, so it’s a guilt-free way to do a Target run and spend time together. It’s a good idea to sit down together before your excursion and collaborate. Create a list and divide it between what is needed and what is wanted. Chances are your ideas will be quite different from theirs. Be sure to get them some of the fun things they’re asking for, but don’t forget any of the essentials. Include vitamins, such as B12, which helps support brain function, something necessary during long nights at college.
5. They’re Going To Miss You
This is the big one. They can say and act however they want, but when the day comes for them the leave home, your child will be sad, unsure, anxious, and maybe even a little depressed. It’s important that you spend time with them, having built them up, encouraging them, and letting them know how awesome they are, and how much you love them. It’s also good for you as a parent to have those memories to look back on when you’re missing them.
The moments we spend with our kids before they leave for college should be happy ones. It should be a healthy mix of preparation and relaxation. Be sure to reinforce your love for them and remind them that you’re only a phone call away. If you’re worried about your own state of mind, don’t worry, winter break is long, and it will be here before you know it. Hang in there.