Have you ever been bullied?
Have you ever hoped the bully gets a taste of his own medicine one day?
You may have seen the video or heard about the Australian kid who was getting bullied and finally decided to fight back. If you want to watch the video, I have the link here, but please be warned that it is quite violent. I actually recommend not watching it; I wish I hadn’t.
If you don’t want to watch the video I’ll give you a rundown. Kid #1 is getting taunted and punched by Kid #2. Kid #1 takes one punch in the face, blocks a second, and then snaps. He grabs the bully, picks him up, and literally piledrives him into the concrete ground. Turns out the bully was medically okay and walked away from the fight, but it was terrifying.
This video almost made me cry. I watched it twice, and I only watched it the second time because I wanted to write about it and make sure I remembered everything. It made me sick having to watch it again.
I’ve was bullied a bit when I was a kid. I was never punched, but I did get pushed around many times and had to turn the other cheek. Most of the bullying I put up with was verbal. There were times when I wanted to lash out with violence. In the moment when I was getting bullied, I wanted to hurt those people physically as bad as they had hurt me emotionally.
But I never did. I never tried to hurt anyone because after the moment of rage-filled emotion, I would always realize how terrible I would have felt inside if I ever actually hurt someone.
I feel like I can see it in that kid’s face immediately after he threw the bully to the ground. He was so mad that he couldn’t stop himself from lashing out, but immediately after he realized what he had done, it looks like he was disgusted with himself. Now I can’t say for sure what that kid was thinking, but I can guarantee that if it were me, I would have started crying before the kid even hit the ground.
I never wanted the bullies to get hurt physically; I just wanted them to stop.
I was an easy target in grade school. I was a big nerd, physically the smallest boy in the class, and a poor kid living in a rich neighborhood. Luckily I didn’t have glasses or I would have really been screwed.
However, I think I avoided a good amount of bullying because my reaction to bullies was just to ignore them. If I got really fed up, I would respond verbally with a very passive, “I really don’t care. You’re an idiot.” I think they ended up leaving me alone for the most part because I wasn’t fun to pick on. I didn’t show them that it got under my skin (even though it absolutely did), so it wasn’t fun for them.
I’m not going to try to arbitrarily tie in a financial lesson to this post, so if you’re looking for that I have plenty of old posts with great information. When I saw the video, it just struck a nerve and I had to write about it.
I really just needed to say that my heart goes out to that boy who let his anger get the best of him for a few seconds, and I truly hope this is the end of the story. I’m worried that the bully is going to be embarrassed about the whole situation, and get some of his stupid friends to gang up on Kid #2 and really hurt him. I also hate the fact that Kid #2 is going to get a lot of people telling him that what he did was awesome, and if he’s not careful, he’s going to start believing that body slamming mean people is a good thing to do.
I can’t imagine how someone could enjoy watching that video. When it comes to bullying, it doesn’t matter what happens; nobody wins.
Edit based on some reader comments: I didn’t make this clear. While I don’t think it was “right” to return violence with more violence, I understand that he had to stand up for himself after the abuse he was taking, and I’m not judging him for that. The main point I wanted to make was just that I feel so bad for that kid after having been in his shoes. And sure, he may have stopped those bullies from messing with him ever again and “won the fight”, but if he’s anything like me, he doesn’t feel like he won anything; he just feels terrible. That’s why I think nobody wins.
Kevin McKee is an entrepreneur, IT guru, and personal finance leader. In addition to his writing, Kevin is the head of IT at Buildingstars, Co-Founder of Padmission, and organizer of Laravel STL. He is also the creator of www.contributetoopensource.com. When he’s not working, Kevin enjoys podcasting about movies and spending time with his wife and four children.
Thanks for this post, Kevin. Bullying is such a huge problem in schools and it is always hard to convince the students that are being picked on the retaliation is not the way to go. Our guy instinct is to lash out and strike back, but to turn the other cheek is much more powerful and difficult to do.
I hated school from about 3rd grade to 8th grade. The principal said I marched to the beat of a different drummer. I was scrawny, nerdy, had my own sense of fashion, didn’t have a TV, listened to classical music, etc. I was in my own little world. I was picked on so much and hated it! I’ve vowed to never say these words to my kids, “Don’t take it personally, they’re just jealous.” I hated hearing those words! I don’t want to watch the video, but my heart goes out to both kids and all the kids being bullied out there! And may I say…thank goodness these things tend to pass as you get older!
I couldn’t disagree more. In fact, if he would have stood up for himself sooner, it probably wouldn’t have gotten that far. Clearly his friends were video taping the little one pic on the big one… something that simply blows my mind. It would be different if they were of proportional size and one was fat as that seems the more stereotypical situation to me. It seems to me if that kid being picked on, had just shoved one of those scrawny kids back when it first started it most likely would have stopped there.
If you dont stand up for yourself, no one else is going to. Its just life. You have to learn to make your own way, and best get it out of the way when there are little to no real repercussions that you cant bounce back from. A school yard fight will have far less impact in the long run than say getting shit on by people at work and passed over for promotions because you cant stand up for yourself.
Just how I see it. I also dont agree that he felt horrible about hitting that kid, I think he was more worried about getting caught as teachers started coming down the hall at the end of the video. The only thing worse than getting into a fight when your a kid is having your parents find out.
As a side note, that scrawny kid is lucky that big one didn’t slam him into anything head first cause he would probably gotten a well deserved concussion.
I had my fair share of bullies or guys who fancied themselves bullies and kevin you know a few of them. Problem was they tended to get physical with me. At the time i was doing Kickboxing and fighting in point based karate tournaments, One fight and I was kicked out of my do-jo. So i had to turn the other cheek, which just invited more people to do the same crap. It wasn’t until I picked out the biggest and badest and knocked the snot out of him ( My mother actually made me do it, marched me over to his house and told his mom what he had been up to and that we were gonna settle it here and now) that all of that stopped.
Throw a jab… set the tone…
Man, that is one shocking video. Bullying is pathetic and should never be tolerated. however, I have to disagree with your view on this. I’m a big believer is dealing with the situation on your own. I believe in self defense and standing up for yourself. It really is the “wussification of America” in the last decade. Schools teach kids to be politically correct and to whine and complain about hurt feelings. Whatever happened to taking it out to the soccer field and fist fighting? Real life is just like what Nick mentioned. After school, no one is going to stick up for you, you HAVE to stick up for yourself.
I didn’t watch the video as I figured I would find it upsetting based on how you described it. The kid that ended up striking back had probably had enough and just couldn’t contain his anger. That is what happens when adults let things go too far. I also see it happen in soccer games and such. Refs call nothing, kids get mad and frustrated, and someone ends up hurt.
If only adults were more involved in protecting kids. I know schools are crowded and such, but I hate that kids get lost in the shuffle.
Thanks for sharing; I didn’t watch it yet, but heard it’s a viral video will have to check out.
I’m already seeing it happening at 4 and 5 with our kids. It’s stupid stuff at this age, but I clearly see other kids bullying each other. Following them around, hovering, taunting. It’s ridiculous. Parents just pretend they don’t see what’s happening and keep talking.
Some parents, when confronted say “boys will be boys”. BS. Be a parent and stop your kid from being a terrorist.
OK, there’s my 2 cents. It’s here to stay unfortunately; part of our aggressive, “winning” culture mixed w bad parenting.
I’ve always fought back against bullies, which is why I never ended up getting bullied. One time I was knocked over playing soccer in the 7th grade on purpose. I rushed the guy, swept his leg til he fell on the ground, and drove my heel into his solarplex triangle. He no longer bullied me, cried, then apologized.
I don’t accept bullying. There were two more incidences that occurred where I fought back, and both times they apologized again. No bullying!
Just saw this link from over at Financial Samurai. Good post, Kevin. I can appreciate your perspective as you share your own experience dealing with tormentors.
I wasn’t bullied, but I think it would be traumatizing. Really, I feel sorry for the kids that are picked on. I always refrained from doing so, as I was more of a quiet, well-behaved kid anyway.
All this said, I’m conflicted on this but I have to give kudos to the big kid for standing up for himself. I would like the take the Gandhi approach of if they slap you, turn the other cheek. Only thing is, it doesn’t always work, and sometimes the victim needs to protect himself and send a message back. Being terrorized like the kid was, I don’t blame him for his epic takedown!
Overall, I do agree with you that nobody wins with bullying. It’s terrible, and as adults we shouldn’t tolerate it from kids.