Insecurities are a common part of the human experience. While usually a lack of confidence is obvious, there are many insecure habits that people keep hidden, whether out of fear or worry about judgment.
These secretive habits are formed over time to bring some kind of comfort to the person. At the same time, they inadvertently reinforce feelings of inadequacy or anxiety. Here are 10 insecure habits that people tend to keep hidden from others.
1. Over-Preparing for Simple Tasks
Before doing a simple task, insecure people feel the need to overly prepare ahead of time. They might rehearse conversations, overthink emails before sending them, or practice speeches countless times alone.
This behavior stems from a fear of making mistakes or being judged. If they overprepare, they believe they’ll avoid failure.
2. Obsessively Checking Social Media
Insecure habits stem from a lack of confidence. For instance, someone may constantly check social media for updates on likes, comments, or shares.
Recent statistics show that people spend about 2 hours and 23 minutes on social media every day. People may keep this behavior private due to embarrassment or the realization that they’re turning to social media to seek validation from others.
3. Hiding True Opinions
Out of a fear of conflict or rejection, some individuals keep their feelings and opinions to themselves. They don’t want to say the wrong thing and get criticized by others.
Insecure people will either stay quiet or agree with others to keep the peace. Sometimes, they’re compromising their own values or preferences as a result.
4. Compulsive Lying
Everybody knows that lying is wrong. However, unconfident people have the insecure habit of compulsively lying to others.
They fabricate stories to appear more successful, experienced, or interesting. This habit is often kept secret due to the shame associated with lying and the fear of being caught or exposed.
5. Vicious Thought Cycles
When someone avoids making eye contact in conversation, it’s a clear indicator that they’re insecure. Some insecure habits are less obvious.
For instance, people who lack confidence often have ongoing dialogue in their heads. They’re talking out loud in their brains, overthinking their behaviors before they perform them. They may also spend a lot of time thinking about what their faces are doing as they talk.
6. Nail Biting or Skin Picking
Dermatophagia, or nail biting or skin picking, are common physical manifestations of anxiety and insecurity. These insecure habits are usually hidden from others as much as possible since they’re usually embarrassing.
Unfortunately, these habits can cause visible injury or scarring to occur on the person’s body. This may lead to awkward questions from others.
7. Self-Insulting Behavior
Behind closed doors, people could be bashing themselves either out loud or in their own heads. Be on alert for anyone who frequently uses self-deprecating humor because they could be guilty of this insecure habit.
Frequently putting oneself down can be a defense mechanism to cope with insecurities. By criticizing themselves first, individuals might feel they can control everyone else’s perceptions about them.
8. Perfectionism in Simple Tasks
Perfectionism can often be a cover for deep-seated insecurities. Some individuals may obsess over minor details in tasks at home or work. They spend excessive time on simple activities to make sure it’s just right. By doing this, they feel as though they’ll appear competent and are less likely to be criticized.
9. Rehearsing Conversations Alone
Insecure people may practice conversations alone before they have them in real life. They spend this time anticipating different responses and preparing their reactions accordingly.
In reality, no one knows exactly how a conversation will go. It’s much better to react authentically in the moment than to overthink what’s going to be said.
10. Secret Rituals or Superstitions
Do you have a secret ritual or superstition? You’re not alone! Many people develop these private routines to cope with anxiety and insecurity. It could be a lucky shirt or coming up with arbitrary “if” scenarios. These behaviors provide a sense of security, even though they’re often irrational.
Overcome Insecurity
Life is tough. It’s scary to put yourself out there, and for better or worse, your insecure habits may be helping you cope.
It’s time to overcome these harmful behaviors! By being honest with yourself, you can experience personal growth, and ultimately, develop a healthier, more confident self-image. Are you interacting with someone who seems insecure? Offer empathy and encouragement. You can help them feel as amazing as they are!
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Alyssa Serio has been a writer and editor since graduating from Aurora University in 2014. In her free time, she loves reading, playing volleyball, and watching any horror movie (even the bad ones) with her husband.