I’ve been writing about personal finance for over two years now. I’ve been running numbers, finding out the smartest ways to pay down debt. On multiple occasions I’ve identified places where I spend too much money (like on eating out). And in many instances I’ve recognized a problem and done nothing about it.
Why worry about spending too much money on eating out? I was still paying all my bills, contributing 6% to my 401k, and saving a heck of a lot more money which was used to pay off student loans and then to save for a theoretical house.
Then I got engaged and everything changed.
Now I know I need to save money because I have a wedding to pay for. I may be buying a house in the near future as well, which means I need to pay for the down payment, repairs, updates, and anything else. If I get a house then I want to adopt a dog, which also costs money. And then after Tag and I are married we will eventually start having kids which (you guessed it) costs money.
Spending a hundreds of dollars a month at restaurants and fast food places wasn’t a big deal 8 days ago. It all changed when I got engaged.
We Are Shedding for the Wedding (and the rest of our lives)
Tag and I made a decision after we got engaged that we can’t eat out anymore. Not only is it too expensive, but we can’t do that to our bodies. Our wedding pictures are going to last forever. We’re going to have those pictures in our house for the rest of our lives, and we darn well better look good in them.
The more we eat out, the harder it will be for us to get to our ideal weight for the wedding and the harder it will be for us to save up enough money for the wedding and the house.
Then once we get married and have kids, the costs of eating out (both financial and health related) are multiplied even more.
That means I actually have to start cooking. This past week I’ve cooked Mexican (shredded chicken with taco seasoning, great for tacos, burritos, and salads), Italian (ground turkey with arrabbiata sauce, served with wheat pasta), and Beef Stew (I added garlic, took out the mushrooms, and substituted beef broth for water in this recipe). Overall I had delicious and relatively healthy meals at a fraction of the cost of what I usually pay to eat out.
True Motivation Changes Your Life
I was never really motivated to change my habits because the only reason to change was theoretical. I knew I would get married and have a house one day, but that stuff wasn’t tangible until I got engaged. All of a sudden I really have a family and a house to prepare for, and I need to start preparing NOW!
Readers: Do you have true motivation for your financial and life goals?
Kevin McKee is an entrepreneur, IT guru, and personal finance leader. In addition to his writing, Kevin is the head of IT at Buildingstars, Co-Founder of Padmission, and organizer of Laravel STL. He is also the creator of www.contributetoopensource.com. When he’s not working, Kevin enjoys podcasting about movies and spending time with his wife and four children.
How did the P90X go?
Right now I am saving up to help my girlfriend pay off her student loans when we eventually get married. It will be nice to get rid.of them so we can focus on other things!
We just got our wedding pictures back, and while Lauren definitely got in shape for the wedding, what I did didn’t really matter. Unless I gained a significant amount of weight in my face, my tux covered everything else up. I looked pretty decent, but you couldn’t see how fit I was!
For girls, losing weight for a wedding is important because the dresses show more skin and waist. For men? Eh. Keep eating out when you’re not together, just don’t let her know!
hahaha – This is so true! Although, she will know come honeymoon time. 😉
The baby made us realize (well we already knew) that we went out too much, but when daycare sets you back $245/week you tend to change your patterns.
Also I am assuming you will go out to eat some, making something an absolute usually leads to failure.
Yep it all matters more when you have a reason! Good luck. Sounds like you’re already taking steps in the right direction. Also congrats if I didn’t say that before!
Interesting that you’ve found lots of motivation in getting engaged (congrats BTW) – There’s always so much to save for, occasionally I feel overwhelmed when I’m trying to save for too many things at once. I get a defeatist mindset and then dont save any money at all – that kind of happens with my goals as well. I find out I operate best when I have a few goals (no matter how lofty) and a solid plan to get there.
Weddings are expensive, but dont get too caught up in the details of the plan. I got asked about table settings, plates, and napkins all the time, and finally I just had to say to my wife that I didnt care what they were so she just picked them out.
Sometimes we just need that little kick in the rear to get saving and it looks like the engagement was a perfectly happy way to get you motivated! The biggest problem I find when trying to save is, ironically, the small things. Eating out is costly, but all those little purchases that we don’t really need add up. Whether it’s the candy bar while you’re in a check out line or that new pair of shoes we don’t need. Impulse purchases kill our savings!
I really dislike eating out because it eats at your budget and affects your waistline. I I am a pretty good cook so I am always disappointed with the meal at a restaurant.
But, if you go completely cold turkey you’ll resent your choice. I think the occasional meal out is fine because you will appreciate the experience much more than if you do it all the time. I find people who eat out a lot (more than once a week) begin to see it as a need rather than a want and you know where that kind of thinking leads to!
Saving money takes huge motivation. I would even go farther and say it takes short-term motivation. Like you had mentioned, you always knew that you wanted to do these things, but they weren’t tangible. When goals are closer, the push is felt a lot more urgently to save.
Super congrats to both of you! Don’t forget to talk through your money history and personalities before the wedding!
Congratulations on your engagement! In my case, my daughter motivates me and my wife to reach our financial and life goals. We have set up a financial road map to be able to save enough money to pay for her college tuition in full (18 years) away. It’s funny how one thing can change everything isn’t it.