I need to start today’s post by wishing a very special Happy Birthday to Tag. She turns 24 today, which means she’s a year older than she was, but still two years younger than me. Which means I have a hot younger woman for a girlfriend, which is awesome!
In the past Tag and I have done things together for birthdays. For example, I took her to the Dallas Aquarium one year for her birthday, and she took me horseback riding for mine. This year I decided to get her a physical present. And for some stupid reason, here is how I started my thought process:
What would I like? Because surely if I like it then Tag would like it too.
You’d think I’d be smart enough to know better than this. But I’m not. Because I’m an idiot. I’m basically like one of those guys who gets their wife a riding lawnmower for her birthday when she’s never done a minute of yardwork in her life. I-D-I-O-T.
When Amazon rolled out its new line of Kindle products I thought, “Tag likes to read, so I’m sure she’d like a new Kindle Touch!” Nevermind the fact that she’s back in school and won’t graduate until Spring of 2014. That means she won’t really have money to buy books for her Kindle until the hardware is so old it’s practically obsolete.
And yes, she does enjoy reading. But it’s not one of her favorite things. She’s much more interested in working out, studying for class, and relaxing by watching movies and some of her favorite TV shows. If she does want to read something (like Harry Potter books, which she loves), she can just read the physical books she already has.
Simply put, I ordered the Kindle Touch more because I was interested in it more than because it would be a good gift for Tag. Luckily I realized this early enough to cancel the order and get her something else.
The Key to a Great Gift is Listening
If you want to get someone a really good gift, you just have to listen to them. Tag has complained about how cold it is outside and how it’s hard to ride her bike or run because of the weather.
After actually listening to her, I realized she would enjoy a bike trainer (which turns her road bike into a stationary bike) much more than a Kindle. I changed the order and gave her the gift this weekend. I told her that her first gift was a Kindle, and she agreed that the bike trainer was better (although she would have liked the Kindle too).
As you are shopping for your family and friends this Christmas season, think about this past Thanksgiving weekend. If you think hard enough, I’m sure you will remember people saying something like, “This would be so much easier with [insert cooking utensil],” or “I’m sick and tired of [something] not working,” or “Did you see that commercial? I’d love one of [insert item].”
So don’t fall into the trap of buying something you think is cool for someone else. Get them something they think is cool.
Before you go, please take a few seconds to wish Tag a happy birthday in the comments! And you can also give your secrets on how you make your loved ones feel special on their birthday.
Kevin McKee is an entrepreneur, IT guru, and personal finance leader. In addition to his writing, Kevin is the head of IT at Buildingstars, Co-Founder of Padmission, and organizer of Laravel STL. He is also the creator of www.contributetoopensource.com. When he’s not working, Kevin enjoys podcasting about movies and spending time with his wife and four children.
In the past, I’ve actually used my smartphone to take notes when my wife says that she wishes she had something or thinks that something is cool. That’s either worked out really well, as she’s been surprised by something she had forgotten about, or not so well, as she was surprised but had moved on from what she had said. So it can kind of go either way, I guess 🙂
Yeah, I’ve used the smartphone and emails at times too. They are all really good strategies! It’s too bad that you’ve listened “too well” so you get something she doesn’t want anymore.
Happy Birthday, Tag!
Yep, count me in on the smart phone bit. My phone is so old I can’t sync it any more, and I’m petrified that it will die with all my life data in it! No one will get the right gift, I won’t request the right movies from the library, and I won’t be able to do my grocery shopping!
Happy Birthday Tag!
I use a similar approach as Money Beagle does except I send myself emails throughout the year and use the subject line as “wife present” or “child 1 present idea” and when it comes time to buy gifts I just do a search of my email and find it there. That way it stays hidden, but I am sure I can find it when I need it.
Another thing we do is we try to make sure the gifts are something that will be memorable. We aren’t minimalists, but we really don’t like having a lot of stuff accumulate in the house. If it is going to take up space in the house, then it better be something extra special.
Keep up the great work! I enjoy this site and tell my friends about it as well.
Listening is the key.
The email method is good too. I wish I were that organized. I should track more of these “ideas” though. I can always use more.
Happy Birthday Tag! Listening is a powerful skill. The bike trainer is just the beginning, you’ll also need a fan, and an iPod, maybe a TV, and definitely a phone book to put under the front tire. It’s challenging sitting on those things for hours on end.
I actually did get her a little plastic thing for the front wheel. I gave that to her first (as if that were her only present) and she was really confused. I was laughing way harder than I probably should have.
That’s a great story kevin. My fiancee is semi hard to shop for as she usually wants clothes but I have a personal rule not to pick out clothes for her – there’s just too many ways that it can end badly, from picking the wrong size to picking something that is in bad taste. I usually try to make something but I wont have time for christmas this year – so I’ll need to get her something.
Yeah, clothes are usually a no-no. I will only buy her clothes if it’s something I know she can return from somewhere I know she likes. I’ve only done it once.
Happy Birthday Tag! I hope you have a great day. I’m glad Kevin learned the art of listening.
I don’t think I’ve learned it, but I’m getting better!
Happy Birthday Tag! Enjoy your gift.
She better! She told me she wanted it!
Happy B-Day, Tag! Remember, if Kevin asks you to marry him, follow his advice and get a pre-nup so you can keep the bike trainer all for yo-self. 😉
I hope she doesn’t put that in there. I want it!
Enjoy your birthday gift Tag! I listen to Mrs. RB40 and she wants a coat and some boots. There is no way I can buy the right thing for her with that parameter so I told her to charge it and gift wrap it to herself. :b
Haha, how romantic!
I was going to wish Tag a Happy Birthday, but it looks like everyone else beat me to it.
I’ll try again next year!
You can never have too much happy birthday
Alright, Tag, here is your Happy Birthday…
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=84aRTri8AAk
Enjoy! 🙂
Great advice, Kevin! Along the same lines, I don’t like it when people ask me what I want for Christmas, or try to give me a Christmas list. If I can’t figure out what to buy someone for a gift (or vice versa), then we’re not close enough to be exchanging presents.
Happy B-day, Tag!
Thank you everyone for all of the birthday wishes, it made my day! And thank you again Kev for my gift 🙂
I truly believe we are all greedy people deep down inside, because I also felt like you did many times when buying a gift. I learned to distinguish between what my bad conscious and good conscious thoughts are telling me. Why because if its my money I would want the gift to benefit me in a small way i guess. Bad conscious speaking. What does the person actually want or need? Good conscious speaking. So I can now say I have spoken to much and will end with happy birthday Miss TaG.
She enjoys biking and reading, so both the bike trainer and Kindle Touch appear to be intuitive and appreciated gifts. The Kindle wasn’t a bad idea though. For example, because of her current financial situation, the Kindle could have included 12 books, one for each month throughout the year.
(Happy Birthday, Tag! I’ll be envying your bike trainer when I’m riding home from work in the rain! 🙂 )
I like to make my own gifts, so usually I’ll make a lot of the same thing but with specifications for each person. For example, this year for the holidays I made a bunch of really cool magnets, but with images on them specific to the family members– Mom gets classic movie images, Dad gets images of ducks, 8-year old Niece gets girly images like lipstick and flowers, Sister gets images of froofroo cocktails, and Boyfriend gets images of vintage comic book heroes. I know that none of them would have specifically asked for magnets with ducks on them, but they’re useful and homemade!
When I’m not making gifts, I try to buy something that assists the recipient in a goal they have. I got Boyfriend high-quality drawing pens a few months before he had an art exhibit, and I got my youngest niece a weighted hula-hoop after I caught her using mine. Last year I knitted my oldest niece a scarf that matched her basketball uniform. My nephew got his fees paid for Driving School.
I love giving gifts!!!